Rose Path

Assalammualaikum and hi. Have you heard about Teme Abdullah? An inspiring person.

Believe or not, he did really inspire me at so many things. When I was first reading Pelukis Jalanan, all I want to do is to study oversea just like how he was. It doesn't make sense right? The book tells us the hurdles that he faced but I am low key want to experience how it is, being there. Arkitek Jalanan made me emotional as well. It took over 2 weeks to read because, for me, every page should be hadam betul2. I don't know, maybe I just have that type of fragile heart. The book definitely made me to stand in reality, to pursue my dream, to widen my perspective & to gain new knowledge. Nevertheless, I was get addicted to his writing until I read each of his entries post on the blog. Oh and also Empayar is probably my fav amongst all for now though. It is well-written. 

It's amazing how one able to inspire someone's life that much right? But, today I am not gonna talk about him though. That is just silly promotions so that you guys buy and read em.

Okay so the thing is, /drum roll lately, I've been confusing about myself. I am concerning about my future, about my real dreams and what actually I want to do in my life.  Do you guys have that kind of idol or role model in your life? I do. But I feel that I am not that consistent and that's why I'm lost. When I watch medic-drama, I want to be a doctor. Same goes to police-kind-of-drama and whatever drama it is. I am easily getting influenced until I don't know what is my real dream. I even think that am I have any specific talent that I specialize with though? Okay, I like to study, but not that much. Just another lazy potato here that loves to sleep. I like photography but I don't have skills. I like history but not that significant things in the textbook. I would like to travel but I am just a homebody person. I love many things but it doesn't bring major impact in my life. Except Kpop lol ( but it still not much though ) I seriously envy those who have ambition, their hobbies.....

And that is why I stated above that people's perspective influenced me so much. Just like how reading Teme's books, I'm easily terpengaruh. Idk if I'm in youth or teenager phase or what, but I'm slowly getting fear about this. What if i don't have dream? What if i cannot survive after spm life? Should i stop everything? Wait no what i'm doing right now? Cannot be denied that, Teme faced the same thing as well back then. This kind of confusion; & i believe everyone have experienced it too. Like we don't know whether we are in right path or not. But how about me?  I don't want to be like that and the thing is, I should change right now. But I'm in phase ' idk and idk ' all the times. I guess I should make a better move now.