Rose Path

Assalammualaikum and hi. Have you heard about Teme Abdullah? An inspiring person.

Believe or not, he did really inspire me at so many things. When I was first reading Pelukis Jalanan, all I want to do is to study oversea just like how he was. It doesn't make sense right? The book tells us the hurdles that he faced but I am low key want to experience how it is, being there. Arkitek Jalanan made me emotional as well. It took over 2 weeks to read because, for me, every page should be hadam betul2. I don't know, maybe I just have that type of fragile heart. The book definitely made me to stand in reality, to pursue my dream, to widen my perspective & to gain new knowledge. Nevertheless, I was get addicted to his writing until I read each of his entries post on the blog. Oh and also Empayar is probably my fav amongst all for now though. It is well-written. 

It's amazing how one able to inspire someone's life that much right? But, today I am not gonna talk about him though. That is just silly promotions so that you guys buy and read em.

Okay so the thing is, /drum roll lately, I've been confusing about myself. I am concerning about my future, about my real dreams and what actually I want to do in my life.  Do you guys have that kind of idol or role model in your life? I do. But I feel that I am not that consistent and that's why I'm lost. When I watch medic-drama, I want to be a doctor. Same goes to police-kind-of-drama and whatever drama it is. I am easily getting influenced until I don't know what is my real dream. I even think that am I have any specific talent that I specialize with though? Okay, I like to study, but not that much. Just another lazy potato here that loves to sleep. I like photography but I don't have skills. I like history but not that significant things in the textbook. I would like to travel but I am just a homebody person. I love many things but it doesn't bring major impact in my life. Except Kpop lol ( but it still not much though ) I seriously envy those who have ambition, their hobbies.....

And that is why I stated above that people's perspective influenced me so much. Just like how reading Teme's books, I'm easily terpengaruh. Idk if I'm in youth or teenager phase or what, but I'm slowly getting fear about this. What if i don't have dream? What if i cannot survive after spm life? Should i stop everything? Wait no what i'm doing right now? Cannot be denied that, Teme faced the same thing as well back then. This kind of confusion; & i believe everyone have experienced it too. Like we don't know whether we are in right path or not. But how about me?  I don't want to be like that and the thing is, I should change right now. But I'm in phase ' idk and idk ' all the times. I guess I should make a better move now.

Advice

Hi and assalammualaikum.

You know what? I love to listen to other people's perspective & their own opinions. Whenever I listen to them either intentionally or vice versa, they are lowkey making me to think openly about their thoughts.
Nevertheless, it doesn't mean what they said is true or not, funny or not, good or not, whatever it is, it just their opinions, and on how they delivered the messages. 

This morning, my teacher was absent on the class. We got like 3 free periods w/o a teacher. So like usual, we just doing our things. Finishing homeworkSSSSS, chit-chat and else. At first, I was doing physic's homework. But suddenly I heard a small argue-talk between my classmates, which was like 4 to 5 steps from my tablework. It was not that fuss or wild though. Just a conversation where this friend, A was giving a piece of advice to the other friend, H. Oh, it was man-to-man talks anyway. It high-key attracted me honestly. However, I don't want to join the conversation though because I know they will stop right away. So my hand was doing the homework, but my brain cell listened to the conversation LOL

Look, I don't want to write here what they talked about, but I gotta share some of my thoughts about A's advice. I sit back right now, thinking deeply about his advice. Okay, it is a great thing for sure. Menasihati antara satu sama lain is a great thing, isn't? Tuntutan agama.

But now, I thought & realized that there are actually some people who love to brag about their bad past or experience with other people. I mean, I get it that one wants to share their sorta painful experience so that others can learn about the mistakes and take it as a nonsuch ( teladan ) However, the way A delivered his advice was somehow annoyed me a little bit. Like littleeeeeeeeeee bit. No offense. I understand his good intention though, but yea. 

It sounds like when one thinks that his or her test from Allah is greater and hurtful rather than anyone else and thus makes s/he feels proud and brag with it all the times. When the thing is, there are actually more people who are suffering more than they realize. Or maybe even the one who are they giving advice with. Who knows? Maybe there are those ones who battling out with themselves right...

But I guess, I should just take it positively. I'm not writing this whole post for my classmate though. It just one of my thoughts about the thing that cropped up today. 

I'm giving this message to those who need anyway! I believe sometimes we feel terasa hati a little bit from teguran, but it is actually a good thing that someone willing to give an advice to us. Take it as a bonus to us, Inshaallah!