Hello. Today, I learn that I shall be grateful and pleased with what Allah has granted for me, personally & warmly. Whenever I got English paper, I always feel like " Wew, alhamdulillah. Um by the way, did the teacher mark me wrongly tho? Why my marks this tinggi TT "
Yes. I just feel like I don't deserve high marks and praise from people. My low self-esteem is just that LOW 🤠 It's not that I was being ungrateful or what but yea, the esteem self. But then, I reflect. I thought that,
" Maybe I shall think more positive? Like look, Allah has set that marks for you. He has a purpose. Maybe he wants you to share HIS knowledge that you learn with other people? Maybe he wants you to know that what you have achieved now, may lose in one second? So please, stop underestimating yourself. It's all for HIM. "
& what you need to know also is, don't you ever riak.
Allah humma ya Allah, please forbid me from ujub and bongkak inside my heart, Ya Rahim. Allah humma Ya Alim, you always know what is going through inside my heart, so please let my heart always under your rahmah, Ameen.
Despite all the colourful rainbow you see from people, there will be always darkness had hidden among the colours. I struggle, but I want to put my faith completely towards Him. After all, he knows the best. I just got a few subjects that I guess, good grades? So I kinda felt a little overwhelmed which made me had some random thoughts today, Alhamdulillah.
| 25 September 2019 |
I cried. Yes, I cried because of the Additional Mathematics' marks. I thought I have done my best already but no. I made mistakes somewhere. It sucks to think that I studied this subject the most and still fail. The moment I saw the marks on the website, I felt like time stop ticking. I just laid on the bed, didn't think much. Things just got lil intense when my heart self, felt the ache. Maybe I was upset with myself and nothing else.
It just funny if I recalled back the scenario of me, bursting out that hard after taking wudhu' to perform Maghrib that day. Sometimes crying is the only way to comfort us. I haven't cried for a long time already. Wow addmath, you did it.
Please pray for me a lot, with love and always. Thank you for reading and have a good day, InsyaAllah.
fighting ! don't ever give up okayyy
ReplyDeleteGood luck and all the best Ariena .
ReplyDeleteI personally believe we earn things that we deserve. Of course that's not always the case, but everything happens for a reason right?
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, kudos in achieving high marks in English! You deserve it fullstop hehe. Keep making a good progress in it :)
Ah.. Add Maths eh.. I quit my engineering course because of that subject. Not ashamed to say that I used to fail in Add Maths few times before finally scored an A minus in my SPM (my highest score was a C+). I believe that was a pure luck. But it's true, if you want it and you work for it, Allah will surely help you.
I'm praying that you'll ace your SPM examination. In all subjects of course. Do your best and put your trust in Allah.
I'm sorry that you didn't get to join the GA, I do understand that you're very busy right now. I'll give some other things in my next mail insyaAllah hehe. Look forward to your next entry ariena, take care and all the best! xx