accusation

In the name of Allah, the Most Compassionate, the Most Merciful

Lately, I haven't got much into this over-thinking habit and there are not many thoughts running through my mind. There are single-A and Z cross and walk through, but I close the 'thoughts' in a good way. However, there is this thing as mentioned in the title that has been bothering me over and over since years ago. You know that time when someone says something false or untruth about you but you have no intention, to tell the truth....anymore? I always encounter this. I bet you too. We always try to explain the truth but at the end, we feel like to not do anymore. 

People will believe what they want to believe.

Even people surround me also don't know the real feelings of me. Communication is a key indeed but when one is too tired to explain, I guess that is that.

 Communication is a two-way method though. Sometimes, I couldn't bear it alone. The statements are too much and it hurts. The struggle that I faced is often to be misinterpreted. Despite how much we try to understand their so-called points of view, we ended up getting hurt. Refusing over and over about some accusation regardless it is false or true could be tired sometime. I wonder how our great man, Rasulullah SAW have done this before. 

I came across and read over one seerah article that is interesting to be sharing with.

‘Â’isha (RA) reported that she once asked the Prophet ﷺ, “Have you encountered a day harder than the Day of Uhud?” The Prophet ﷺ said,

Your tribe has abused me much, and the worst was the day of ‘Aqaba when I presented myself to ‘Abd Yalâyl b. ‘Abd Kulâl, and he did not respond to what I sought. I departed, overwhelmed with grief, and I could not relax until I found myself at a tree where I lifted my head towards the sky to see a cloud shading me. I looked up and saw Gabriel in it. He called out to me, saying, ‘Allah has heard your people’s saying to you and how they have replied, and Allah has sent the Angel of the Mountains to you that you may order him to do whatever you wish to these people.’ The Angel of the Mountains greeted me and said, ‘O Muhammad, order what you wish, and if you like, I will let the two mountains fall upon them.’ I said, ‘No; rather, I hope that Allah will bring from their descendants people who will worship Allah alone without associating partners with Him.’

I learned that Rasulullah SAW, himself was upset over the accusation that people made and the way they replied to his dakwah. But Rasulullah SAW didn't mad at that particular moment but instead, take a moment to calm down himself. Even after Allah has tried to offer help to him, he made a du'a instead. Du'a, du'a, du'a and du'a to his beloved ummah. I pray that I won't get disappointed that much about what and how people talk to me plus behaving like the sunnah always.

ps : i am going to send my reply of nini's letter soon. please wait for me okiee nini. at least this is a least productive thing i can do for december. life is so routine these days with no roller coaster ride hahaha. 2020, i cannot wait for u! 

Reflection

Assalammualaikum ladies.

As you guys might know from my last post, I had moved to Perak where my hometown is. Thus, I get to know some of my far-relatives here. Well, I guess it's not far-relatives anymore? Despite the hectic schedules i.e to unpack our things, I happened to look on my Tok Su, who I don't really know her very well. When I visited her home, it is a very small home where, kandang kambing is just a stone throw away from her house. After a few knock-knock, I was surprised to see this very small grandma, who just finished eating her medicine, was alone. She didn't really recognize my mother at first, but knew right away after my mother introduced herself.

Actually, it was just too sad, and my tears almost touch the ground because Ya Allah, how can an old mother living there alone...? Allahu. I pray that I won't leave my parents alone and my future children won't leave me alone. Listening to her stories, made me realized so much things in this jeopardy world where we still, have a bunch of people who neglect their parents and being selfish to prioritize their own family while ignoring the parents. I could not help but get bent out of shape over this. Tok Su said, " This is how world works. When we grew old, this is how our life gonna be. "

She then added on, " Even though children give us, a box of gold, this cannot replace our loneliness at home. " True enough... It just like how we heard at the local radio. It did made me reflect a lot and I feel scared as if it's going to be same all over again, to other people as well in the future despite how much we raise the awareness. Or maybe it might occur in my life as well, Nauzubillah Min Zalik. It just a short visit, but leave a big impact for me today. If I am at Tok Su place, how can I face it? Am I ready to face it?

It made me realize that I shall learn to break the ice, all the time actually. As I known for the loyal introvert, at least I should learn to communicate better with elders, hatta with my parents. Being an anti-social is not wrong but please know your limit. I wish I can talk more and express more like I write in the blog, in real life. Be real, nonetheless. Living in new place already made me learned a new thing, plus I am growing older. If back then my teachers and classmates didn't really care if I didn't talk that much, but now not anymore. People surrounds you, who don't know you will misjudge you, will misunderstood you etc etc. I guess that just how life is. Trying to not impress other people but know your boundary, when you are in the community.

I really hope you visit your parents frequently, my friends. My father always remind my sibling, " Sehina-hina mak abah kau, tak cium bau syurga kalau kau derhaka dengan dia. " Allah humma ya Allah, all the things are organized perfectly by You, by Your own better way. May all the parents' who are mistreated, will have a bless reward at the akhirah.

Loves, Ariena.